It's currently 5:00 am. I went to bed at fucking ten and have been twisting and turning on the bed for seven hours. I can't sleep! I've given up already.
So, why not tell you about my life as Cleosparks while I wait for an acceptable hour to get out of bed? No? Well, I'll tell you anyways.
My brother doesn't know about my pro-ana tendencies, but, as I've mentioned earlier, we're doing this workout plan together. So, last night, my sister brought home a shit load of granola bars (as I also mentioned in my last post) and made me eat one. And while we all had a bar, my Bro and I talked about eating habits and stuff. My mom wandered into the kitchen and asked the three of us what we were talking about and my sister immediately says, "oh they're on a DIET."
Um, excuse me bitch. Your Jenny Craig bullshit is a diet. What my brother and I are doing is called EATING HEALTHILY (but well, not me. I definitely don't eat healthily, but you know what I mean.)
So, my Bro and I quickly explained to my mom that, no in fact, we weren't on a diet, we were just making healthier choices.
So my mom leaves, and then my sister turns to us and tries to fucking educate us or something. Little does she know, I'm probably ten times more knowledgeable than her when it comes to nutrition and human anatomy, but I pretended to be dumb, because I'm not supposed to know all that.
So she tells us, "You know, if you want to be healthy, you guys should eat six to eight meals a day."
I of course, already knew that, but I pretended not to. So my brother and I were both like, "no way am I eating six meals a day." When you think about it, six meals is a lot for anyone.
But my sister went on to argue, "No, really! If you eat six to eight small meals a day and eat a variety of foods, you'll be healthier and feel better. That's how Jenny Craig works! When you eat that much you're metabolism speeds up and yada yada blah blah weight loss blah yada." Well she didn't exactly say that, but I tuned out at the end.
So, my brother and I are like ya whatever. We really just didn't care. Maybe we would have taken her seriously if she wasn't over 300 LBS!! Did I forget to mention that my sister is obese? Ya.
So skip ahead a few hours, and my family is chilling around the living room, and my sister says, "I threw up today at work." And then my parents took the role of parents and asked her a bunch of concerned bullshit like how she's was feeling and the usual stuff, then she goes on to say, "and the rice I'm heating in the microwave is the only thing I will have eaten today."
SHE IS SO FULL OF SO MUCH GODDAMN BULLSHIT ALL THE FUCKING TIME. She was talking all that good shit a second ago about six meals a day and shit. And this bitch means to say she's eating one thing at 9 at night. She's so cut throat I swear! And she tries to fucking educate me on healthy eating and all that shit she pulls out of her ass. I mean she's always like "have you eaten" and shit, yet she threw up on an empty stomach and then went on to eat one thing that day. How much more of a hypocrite can she be?
So, anyway, I have a few theories about her story of throwing up.
1. She b/p'd at work and then lied about it saying she just threw up because she "wasn't feeling well." And because she felt guilty about b/p-ing, she only ate one thing when she got home.
2. She's resorting to starvation to try and lose weight faster even though she's already on a weightloss program. The thing is, she's losing weight slower than is expected because she's a lazy fuck. She NEVER works out and she'll make me walk upstairs to her bedroom to get her goddamn phone for her. And then she fucking complains about being fat. Well, maybe if she got off the damn sofa every once in a while, she'd slim down faster. Just a thought.
Now, the reasons I'm so sure that she either b/p'd or starved today and didn't just not feel well or very hungry is because of how she acted about it. She paraded around the fact that she threw up. She acted proud that she had only eaten one thing. It was so obvious to me that she was doing something intentionally (and who fucking gloats about their fucked up eating to their family? I don't. Because I'm a real pro-ana and this isn't just a game to me.), but my parents were pretty damn oblivious and thought she had truly caught a bug even though she showed absolutely no signs of feeling sick whatsoever.
It's so damn unfair, when I say I'm not hungry, everyone (save my brother) comes down on me about my eating habits and how much weight I've lost. When my sister says she's not hungry, no one bats a fucking eyelash. She skips meals and eats badly, but my parents just pretend nothing's going on because they're so glad their obese daughter is finally losing weight. Nevermind she eats almost as little as me.
What, so is it socially acceptable to starve yourself only if you're overweight. Are my parents more worried about me just because I weigh less than her. Why is she allowed to lose weight, but I'm not? You guys have seen my fucking GWs, my ugw isn't even underweight. Its fucking 18.5 BMI but they freak out when they see me getting a little slinkier. Yet they don't care that my sister wants to lose like 150+ lbs. I just want to lose 20. I don't care how much someone weighs, if their eating habits are the same as a troubled pro Ana teenager like myself, then they shouldn't be over looked. Fuck my parents. Fuck my sister. Thank God for my brother who is the only one I like in my family most days.
So, why not tell you about my life as Cleosparks while I wait for an acceptable hour to get out of bed? No? Well, I'll tell you anyways.
My brother doesn't know about my pro-ana tendencies, but, as I've mentioned earlier, we're doing this workout plan together. So, last night, my sister brought home a shit load of granola bars (as I also mentioned in my last post) and made me eat one. And while we all had a bar, my Bro and I talked about eating habits and stuff. My mom wandered into the kitchen and asked the three of us what we were talking about and my sister immediately says, "oh they're on a DIET."
Um, excuse me bitch. Your Jenny Craig bullshit is a diet. What my brother and I are doing is called EATING HEALTHILY (but well, not me. I definitely don't eat healthily, but you know what I mean.)
So, my Bro and I quickly explained to my mom that, no in fact, we weren't on a diet, we were just making healthier choices.
So my mom leaves, and then my sister turns to us and tries to fucking educate us or something. Little does she know, I'm probably ten times more knowledgeable than her when it comes to nutrition and human anatomy, but I pretended to be dumb, because I'm not supposed to know all that.
So she tells us, "You know, if you want to be healthy, you guys should eat six to eight meals a day."
I of course, already knew that, but I pretended not to. So my brother and I were both like, "no way am I eating six meals a day." When you think about it, six meals is a lot for anyone.
But my sister went on to argue, "No, really! If you eat six to eight small meals a day and eat a variety of foods, you'll be healthier and feel better. That's how Jenny Craig works! When you eat that much you're metabolism speeds up and yada yada blah blah weight loss blah yada." Well she didn't exactly say that, but I tuned out at the end.
So, my brother and I are like ya whatever. We really just didn't care. Maybe we would have taken her seriously if she wasn't over 300 LBS!! Did I forget to mention that my sister is obese? Ya.
So skip ahead a few hours, and my family is chilling around the living room, and my sister says, "I threw up today at work." And then my parents took the role of parents and asked her a bunch of concerned bullshit like how she's was feeling and the usual stuff, then she goes on to say, "and the rice I'm heating in the microwave is the only thing I will have eaten today."
SHE IS SO FULL OF SO MUCH GODDAMN BULLSHIT ALL THE FUCKING TIME. She was talking all that good shit a second ago about six meals a day and shit. And this bitch means to say she's eating one thing at 9 at night. She's so cut throat I swear! And she tries to fucking educate me on healthy eating and all that shit she pulls out of her ass. I mean she's always like "have you eaten" and shit, yet she threw up on an empty stomach and then went on to eat one thing that day. How much more of a hypocrite can she be?
So, anyway, I have a few theories about her story of throwing up.
1. She b/p'd at work and then lied about it saying she just threw up because she "wasn't feeling well." And because she felt guilty about b/p-ing, she only ate one thing when she got home.
2. She's resorting to starvation to try and lose weight faster even though she's already on a weightloss program. The thing is, she's losing weight slower than is expected because she's a lazy fuck. She NEVER works out and she'll make me walk upstairs to her bedroom to get her goddamn phone for her. And then she fucking complains about being fat. Well, maybe if she got off the damn sofa every once in a while, she'd slim down faster. Just a thought.
Now, the reasons I'm so sure that she either b/p'd or starved today and didn't just not feel well or very hungry is because of how she acted about it. She paraded around the fact that she threw up. She acted proud that she had only eaten one thing. It was so obvious to me that she was doing something intentionally (and who fucking gloats about their fucked up eating to their family? I don't. Because I'm a real pro-ana and this isn't just a game to me.), but my parents were pretty damn oblivious and thought she had truly caught a bug even though she showed absolutely no signs of feeling sick whatsoever.
It's so damn unfair, when I say I'm not hungry, everyone (save my brother) comes down on me about my eating habits and how much weight I've lost. When my sister says she's not hungry, no one bats a fucking eyelash. She skips meals and eats badly, but my parents just pretend nothing's going on because they're so glad their obese daughter is finally losing weight. Nevermind she eats almost as little as me.
What, so is it socially acceptable to starve yourself only if you're overweight. Are my parents more worried about me just because I weigh less than her. Why is she allowed to lose weight, but I'm not? You guys have seen my fucking GWs, my ugw isn't even underweight. Its fucking 18.5 BMI but they freak out when they see me getting a little slinkier. Yet they don't care that my sister wants to lose like 150+ lbs. I just want to lose 20. I don't care how much someone weighs, if their eating habits are the same as a troubled pro Ana teenager like myself, then they shouldn't be over looked. Fuck my parents. Fuck my sister. Thank God for my brother who is the only one I like in my family most days.
