Okay, so after yesterday, I got really scared about the binge, so I looked up what to do after words and found this. In the comment section, I found this comment:
"I also find this method really helpful when ABOUT to binge. If you wanna skip the little intro go ahead to the ****
So you know that moment before the binge? There's always that moment where you THINK about the food, and what it would be like to have it, then there's another moment where you decide to give in, and you become very excited at the idea of delving into all that food - excited, almost anxious.
(Telling you guys... WRITE YOUR FEELINGS DOWN! those are the feelings I feel when about to binge).
And then I sort of devour the food, and look for the next available source... and eat and eat and slowly the pleasure starts to wear away after you've tasted all that food. You start to think, now that I've had FOOD A and FOOD B... and c and d... what ever, what's the next step? You already feel guilty for indulging. So you repeat - and eat more A and B and C.. at least thats what I do. Until I'm so full I feel sick!
****
So here's something I find really helpful when I feel about to just give in and eat everything in sight. First off, I do a bit of acting here and there, so believing and imagining is part of my every day life. This really helps me when it comes to my little enemy... the binge. So... I sit down and ENVISION myself eating all that food. Really try to imagine it, the first few bites, then this, then that, then eating more. The smooth texture of food melting in your mouth. The cheesy garlic bread, the crispy potato chips, the sweet, creamy (or doughy) ice cream, the cakey brownie, the soft frosting, the chewy or crunchy cookies melting....
Its awesome, right?? You're eating (without excess calories) IN YOUR MIND! But wait that's not it. Sure, its awesome. By this time, you've had the bread, the cookie, the crisps, the fries, the ice cream, the cake, what ever... Now what? I mean you just blew your diet. You JUST ATE 2000+ CALORIES in one sitting! GUILT settles in. Solution? EAT MORE. Before, you may have just been bored or hungry but now, its turned into emotional binge eating. See how it cycles? So you become angry - sad - you keep eating until you are sick - your all bloated and you feel your temperature up, your heart pulsing faster and faster as it tries to metabolise the colossal amount of calories you just ate (carbs, fats, whatever). You know your going to be crying over this for days, and working your little butt off in the gym for the next week. Now STOP.
Come back to reality. You're sitting on the couch, ready to grab that donut or bread and scarf the damn thing down. But stop, because you have just, succesfully, ENVISIONED a binge - not JUST the tastes of food, but the EMOTIONS. The positives and negatives. Now..... Look at yourself. PRE binge. After all that in your mind... aren't you glad you didn't do it in real life? You sure you still wanna binge and feel those negative emotions for the next..oh... week or so?"
Um... What the hell!? This is amazing! I'm just going to read this every time I want to binge or give up. Put the basic principle of the exercise into everything I do. Fucking genius.
Anyway, this morning I weighed myself. 133 lbs. Half a pound lost :) I'm just happy I didn't gain. No more binging for me. Not for a while.
Also, since I lost weight, I saw no reason to do the liquid fast as that's a way to lose more weight faster after a pretty powerful binge.
Since I'm a crazy nut, I researched basically everything that has to do with binging and how to lessen the effects and how to prevent it... etc. And I learned a lot about water retention and how it affects you. The fact that I haven't been drinking very much water is to blame for passing out and cutting my elbow, the fact that I have yet to drop a duke (four days and counting people -_-), my stomach looks all bloated and gross all the time, and my slowing pace in weightloss.
Moral of the story: drink water. And lots of it.
Today's goal is (surprise, surprise) under 500 calories.
Wish me luck
~ Cleosparks
Showing posts with label planning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label planning. Show all posts
Wednesday, 15 August 2012
Saturday, 11 August 2012
Anxiety
Today's going to be hard. Not because of fear of binging (I don't really get that urge any more), but because everyone is home. I don't know if I mentioned it already, but my sister and parents work only on weekdays. Not only did I not get the chance to weigh myself today (the only accurate scale in the house is in my parents' room), but I know my parents will make me eat.
First off, I'm suffering from some extreme anxiety right about now because I have know idea how much I weigh. I probably lost, but I feel fat. So, what if, in the off chance that I didn't lose, I somehow magically gained 3.5 lbs and went back to 142? I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW! This can't be good for my mental health.
Also, I mentioned in my last post (more like ranted) that my dad's fancy party is tonight. We rented a hall, got waiters and everything. I just know that we'll be expected to eat there.
In the perfect world, I would just not eat until the event to prevent as much weight gain as possible and maybe possibly look like less of a cow in the dress. But, as I mentioned, everyone is home today and I can already here my mom cooking breakfast. Dammit. Why does everyone feel the need to eat all the time?
Well, I'm going to fast as much as is possible with my entire family at home, and hopefully on monday (the next chance I'll have to weigh myself), I'll at least have maintained. Hopefully. I'm like fucking praying right now that I don't weigh myself and see 139, or worse yet, 140+
Oh my God, ya I'm gonna stop thinking like that because it is causing deep emotional distress. My hand is literally shaking... I don't know how to deal with life right now. It totally sucks ass.
~ Cleosparks
First off, I'm suffering from some extreme anxiety right about now because I have know idea how much I weigh. I probably lost, but I feel fat. So, what if, in the off chance that I didn't lose, I somehow magically gained 3.5 lbs and went back to 142? I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW! This can't be good for my mental health.
Also, I mentioned in my last post (more like ranted) that my dad's fancy party is tonight. We rented a hall, got waiters and everything. I just know that we'll be expected to eat there.
In the perfect world, I would just not eat until the event to prevent as much weight gain as possible and maybe possibly look like less of a cow in the dress. But, as I mentioned, everyone is home today and I can already here my mom cooking breakfast. Dammit. Why does everyone feel the need to eat all the time?
Well, I'm going to fast as much as is possible with my entire family at home, and hopefully on monday (the next chance I'll have to weigh myself), I'll at least have maintained. Hopefully. I'm like fucking praying right now that I don't weigh myself and see 139, or worse yet, 140+
Oh my God, ya I'm gonna stop thinking like that because it is causing deep emotional distress. My hand is literally shaking... I don't know how to deal with life right now. It totally sucks ass.
~ Cleosparks
Friday, 10 August 2012
Random Irrelevance
I've had 289 calories so far today. It's about 3:00. I'm not going to eat until I'm sure my mom's not making some kind of dinner. A lot of times in the past couple days, I'll reach my calorie limit and think, "Well, I'm done." And then my sister feeds me a granola bar. Ya I really don't wanna go over 500. It's kinda scary. Ugh, I feel so bleh right now. I hate my tummy! It's so fat, and my thighs, and my hips, and my face.... The only thing I like is my arms, as I've said in the past, they're skinny and when I lose weight, I lose it in my arms first, then the rest of me.
I went back to my old posts and found that my start weight (since starting this blog, not since I first went ana), is 3.5 lbs lower than I am right now. Ya sort of depressing to think that in the half a year-ish that I began this blog, I've gained and not lost. But thinking more optimistically, I also grew 1.5 inches, so my bmi is actually lower now by 0.4. Cool.
I'm still sort of hating myself today. Ugh, why am I so fat! Even in Piggy's challenge that I mentioned before, all the girls have a bmi of like 18.8 and my fat ass put up my stats and at the time, I was 21.7. Ugh, I felt so insecure putting up my stats when all these girls are so gorgeously thin. Meh, the more I think, the more I hate myself.
I want to be like them!! So, I'm going to change the stats on the side bar. It will now include GBMIs and GWs seperately because a lot of my goals are meshed randomly. It will most likely help me stay on track. Yay.
LOL I'll probably post like ten more times before today even ends.
~ Cleosparks
I went back to my old posts and found that my start weight (since starting this blog, not since I first went ana), is 3.5 lbs lower than I am right now. Ya sort of depressing to think that in the half a year-ish that I began this blog, I've gained and not lost. But thinking more optimistically, I also grew 1.5 inches, so my bmi is actually lower now by 0.4. Cool.
I'm still sort of hating myself today. Ugh, why am I so fat! Even in Piggy's challenge that I mentioned before, all the girls have a bmi of like 18.8 and my fat ass put up my stats and at the time, I was 21.7. Ugh, I felt so insecure putting up my stats when all these girls are so gorgeously thin. Meh, the more I think, the more I hate myself.
I want to be like them!! So, I'm going to change the stats on the side bar. It will now include GBMIs and GWs seperately because a lot of my goals are meshed randomly. It will most likely help me stay on track. Yay.
LOL I'll probably post like ten more times before today even ends.
~ Cleosparks
Feeling Damn Good
Before I get on with things, I just want to apologize for the really epic post a couple of hours ago. ;) It was super freaking long, but hey I'm passionate on the topic and I was pissed off and partially delusional from my lack of sleep. Still am. I didn't get a single minute of sleep and I usually get 6-8 hours so right now I feel... like shit.
Also, at around 4:00 am (It's 8:30 ish right now), I felt probably the worse hunger I've ever felt in my life. I think throughout this entire blog, back to day one, I've never been so hungry, yet not craving anything. This was real hunger. It wasn't just that I wanted food. My stomach was basically imploding on itself, and I was just like, "'Ey yo, Stomach! Shut the fuck up!" I totally rejected it.
So I guess that not running to the kitchen and throwing myself in a swirl of cereal and guilt, never to return again, paid off. I weighed myself about half an hour ago and I'm 138.5 lbs! Yay, half a pound down!
Right now I'm super hungry, but I'm riding it out and waiting for the pills to kick in. They work pretty damn fast. Alright, tip time. This is how I've been keeping up these last two or three days:
1. Reverse Thinspo
Oh my gosh, looking at reverse thinspo is more effective to me than looking at regular, stick thin thinspo. With regular thinspo, I just feel bad about myself basically. But with reverse, especially the under 200 lbs more realistic kind, I just think to myself, If I binge, I could end up like this. Brilliant.
2. My Body Gallery
I already mentioned this one in an earlier post. Totally brilliant! Just look up girls with your height and UGW and just think to yourself, if I keep it up, I'll look like her.
3. Blogs
When in doubt, read pro-ana blogs. Read until you can't see. They're so inspiring, and I'm frantically searching for more and more active blogs to follow to keep up with the community.
4. Buddy
Get yourself a buddy. I personally don't have a buddy right now, but check out this. The tips are really lame, but the last time I checked, there are constantly people in the comments looking for buddies. And skip past all the Facebook hater comments and go straight to the actual site comments. Good luck!
Today's goal for me is under 500 calories. Haha yes big stretch from my goal of 1000 a couple of days ago.
Wish me luck!!
~ Cleosparks
Also, at around 4:00 am (It's 8:30 ish right now), I felt probably the worse hunger I've ever felt in my life. I think throughout this entire blog, back to day one, I've never been so hungry, yet not craving anything. This was real hunger. It wasn't just that I wanted food. My stomach was basically imploding on itself, and I was just like, "'Ey yo, Stomach! Shut the fuck up!" I totally rejected it.
So I guess that not running to the kitchen and throwing myself in a swirl of cereal and guilt, never to return again, paid off. I weighed myself about half an hour ago and I'm 138.5 lbs! Yay, half a pound down!
Right now I'm super hungry, but I'm riding it out and waiting for the pills to kick in. They work pretty damn fast. Alright, tip time. This is how I've been keeping up these last two or three days:
1. Reverse Thinspo
Oh my gosh, looking at reverse thinspo is more effective to me than looking at regular, stick thin thinspo. With regular thinspo, I just feel bad about myself basically. But with reverse, especially the under 200 lbs more realistic kind, I just think to myself, If I binge, I could end up like this. Brilliant.
2. My Body Gallery
I already mentioned this one in an earlier post. Totally brilliant! Just look up girls with your height and UGW and just think to yourself, if I keep it up, I'll look like her.
3. Blogs
When in doubt, read pro-ana blogs. Read until you can't see. They're so inspiring, and I'm frantically searching for more and more active blogs to follow to keep up with the community.
4. Buddy
Get yourself a buddy. I personally don't have a buddy right now, but check out this. The tips are really lame, but the last time I checked, there are constantly people in the comments looking for buddies. And skip past all the Facebook hater comments and go straight to the actual site comments. Good luck!
Today's goal for me is under 500 calories. Haha yes big stretch from my goal of 1000 a couple of days ago.
Wish me luck!!
~ Cleosparks
Thursday, 9 August 2012
Considering Things...
This morning, I weighed myself (as usual) and almost burst into tears. Happy tears! 139.5 lbs! Holy crap! How the heck did I lose 1.5 lbs? I barely expected to lose half a pound. In fact, I would have been happy to just maintain as long as I didn't gain any more weight. But, hey, I'm not complaining. GW 2 finally reached! I'm under 140 lbs!
I decided a couple of posts ago to change my goal to 130 lbs by September 4th instead of 120. So that gives me about 26 days to lose 9.5 lbs. That doesn't sound too hard. If I lose that much by August 21st, then I'll consider lowering it back to 120 lbs. But I have to see how today goes before I make any final decisions. Yesterday could have just been a fluke for all I know.
Nevertheless, wish me luck!
~ Cleosparks
I decided a couple of posts ago to change my goal to 130 lbs by September 4th instead of 120. So that gives me about 26 days to lose 9.5 lbs. That doesn't sound too hard. If I lose that much by August 21st, then I'll consider lowering it back to 120 lbs. But I have to see how today goes before I make any final decisions. Yesterday could have just been a fluke for all I know.
Nevertheless, wish me luck!
~ Cleosparks
Tuesday, 31 July 2012
A New Ultimate Goal Weight
I'm sure right about now would be time for the half-assed attempt to explain my absence. But, not this time. Think of it this way, I've been away for much longer periods of time than two weeks in the past. So, I've actually been getting better at reducing the amount of time I spend away from the blog. Haha, sure ya, let's think of it that way.
But, anyways, I did a little bit of what you could consider to be research two days ago. You see, I think I have an ultimate goal weight in mind. 120 lbs. That is what I'm striving for. 120 lbs would put me at a clean 18.5 bmi. Borderline underweight, perfect.
So, I have a theory. If I eat the calories needed for the RMR of my future 120 lbs self, I'll definitely lose weight. And, in theory, I should begin to maintain once I reach 120 lbs as long as I eat the amount of calories that my RMR suggests.
Well, all that is well and good, but, right now I'm sort of running a tight schedule. You see, yesterday I weighed myself and I was 142 lbs. Yikes. The goal is to get down to 120 lbs. That would mean I would have to lose 22 lbs. If I eat what my future RMR suggests, then I will no doubt eventually reach that weight... But it would take a while. I sort of want to be that weight on the first day of school. September fourth. Including yesterday, that only gave me 37 days.
So, in 37 days, I've got to lose 22 lbs. Well since today is day 2 and I've lost one pound, I have 36 days to lose 21 lbs. That means I will have to eat less than I planned and exercise more if I want to lose it in the amount of time I gave myself.
By the way, the RMR for me if I were 120 lbs is 1436 calories. So, yesterday's goal was to just stay under that amount. I succeded, I ended up eating 1337 calories. I also ran on the treadmill for 30 minutes and burned 300 calories. I woke up today one pound lighter.
Since yesterday was a success, I'm lowering my goal intake to under 1300 calories instead of under 1436 calories.
If I continue to lose a pound a day, I should get to my ultimate goal weight by September fourth!
Wish me luck!
~ Cleosparks
But, anyways, I did a little bit of what you could consider to be research two days ago. You see, I think I have an ultimate goal weight in mind. 120 lbs. That is what I'm striving for. 120 lbs would put me at a clean 18.5 bmi. Borderline underweight, perfect.
So, I have a theory. If I eat the calories needed for the RMR of my future 120 lbs self, I'll definitely lose weight. And, in theory, I should begin to maintain once I reach 120 lbs as long as I eat the amount of calories that my RMR suggests.
Well, all that is well and good, but, right now I'm sort of running a tight schedule. You see, yesterday I weighed myself and I was 142 lbs. Yikes. The goal is to get down to 120 lbs. That would mean I would have to lose 22 lbs. If I eat what my future RMR suggests, then I will no doubt eventually reach that weight... But it would take a while. I sort of want to be that weight on the first day of school. September fourth. Including yesterday, that only gave me 37 days.
So, in 37 days, I've got to lose 22 lbs. Well since today is day 2 and I've lost one pound, I have 36 days to lose 21 lbs. That means I will have to eat less than I planned and exercise more if I want to lose it in the amount of time I gave myself.
By the way, the RMR for me if I were 120 lbs is 1436 calories. So, yesterday's goal was to just stay under that amount. I succeded, I ended up eating 1337 calories. I also ran on the treadmill for 30 minutes and burned 300 calories. I woke up today one pound lighter.
Since yesterday was a success, I'm lowering my goal intake to under 1300 calories instead of under 1436 calories.
If I continue to lose a pound a day, I should get to my ultimate goal weight by September fourth!
Wish me luck!
~ Cleosparks
Friday, 13 July 2012
Floating
I've been gone for quite a while. Sorry. Once exams ended, I found myself going out with friends on the regular or just sitting around the house, the last thing on my mind was weight-loss or pro-ana. It showed too. My weight went up. All the way up to 142 lbs. And that's what I weighed myself in on July 4th. It hit me hard since that was when I hoped to be 136 lbs.
I guess that day kicked my butt into gear. I didn't so much star dieting again, but I only ate when I was hungry and never before. I lost about a pound and maintained that until I'd say about two days ago. Once again, I was sick of being in the 140s and I started daydreaming about being the skinny one again. Believe it or not, back when I was 130 lbs, I was a lot skinnier than I thought. I saw a video of me and my friends yesterday from around January and I looked so skinny. I started to hate myself a little more yesterday.
And then the weirdest thing happened yesterday. For breakfast I had a sandwich as per usual, but then I just decided I wouldn't eat lunch. I just didn't feel like it. And then when my mom got home for work and suggested dinner, I was almost repulsed by the thought. It was so totally weird and so totally awesome.
I remember last night, how I went to the fridge with every intention of stuffing my face, but nothing was appealing. Nothing. I just didn't want to eat any food. It was like my mind and my body were simply confused. On one hand, my body was awaiting my usual nightly binge, but on the other hand, my mind just went, "meh" at every food I came across. I just didn't feel like eating.
So this morning, I lay in bed as I usually do for about two hours, reading a book (call me a nerd), and decided it was about time I got up and ate some breakfast or something. But when I got up, I got that blurred vision thing you get when you get up to fast. I was utterly surprised when it didn't go away. Suddenly I was lying on the floor and I couldn't remember falling but my arm hurt and I had a headache, which lead me to believe that I slowed my fall with my arm, but I still nicked the floor with the side of my head.
This strange falling thing has happened once before. I blogged about it. I was utterly scared when it happened, and I did my research and found out what had happened to me was that I fainted, but probably didn't black out. Instead of the panicky feeling that I felt last time, I just felt sort of... happy... this morning.
I know that it's so sick and twisted, being happy about fainting, but the thing is. I miss ana. I miss all the feelings. When I think back to last October all the way to around February. I can barely clutch the memories. It just feels like that part of my life was just one big dream and it didn't really happen. I want that feeling again. I crave it almost more than I crave being skinny again. Almost. Even when I go back to read old blog posts, I can barely remember having written them. It's all so weird, yet liberating. It's like feeling like you were just floating along for five months.
Back to the present, I weighed my self again after that fainting spell and came up at 139.5 lbs. Not as good as I would like, but good enough.
~ Cleosparks
I guess that day kicked my butt into gear. I didn't so much star dieting again, but I only ate when I was hungry and never before. I lost about a pound and maintained that until I'd say about two days ago. Once again, I was sick of being in the 140s and I started daydreaming about being the skinny one again. Believe it or not, back when I was 130 lbs, I was a lot skinnier than I thought. I saw a video of me and my friends yesterday from around January and I looked so skinny. I started to hate myself a little more yesterday.
And then the weirdest thing happened yesterday. For breakfast I had a sandwich as per usual, but then I just decided I wouldn't eat lunch. I just didn't feel like it. And then when my mom got home for work and suggested dinner, I was almost repulsed by the thought. It was so totally weird and so totally awesome.
I remember last night, how I went to the fridge with every intention of stuffing my face, but nothing was appealing. Nothing. I just didn't want to eat any food. It was like my mind and my body were simply confused. On one hand, my body was awaiting my usual nightly binge, but on the other hand, my mind just went, "meh" at every food I came across. I just didn't feel like eating.
So this morning, I lay in bed as I usually do for about two hours, reading a book (call me a nerd), and decided it was about time I got up and ate some breakfast or something. But when I got up, I got that blurred vision thing you get when you get up to fast. I was utterly surprised when it didn't go away. Suddenly I was lying on the floor and I couldn't remember falling but my arm hurt and I had a headache, which lead me to believe that I slowed my fall with my arm, but I still nicked the floor with the side of my head.
This strange falling thing has happened once before. I blogged about it. I was utterly scared when it happened, and I did my research and found out what had happened to me was that I fainted, but probably didn't black out. Instead of the panicky feeling that I felt last time, I just felt sort of... happy... this morning.
I know that it's so sick and twisted, being happy about fainting, but the thing is. I miss ana. I miss all the feelings. When I think back to last October all the way to around February. I can barely clutch the memories. It just feels like that part of my life was just one big dream and it didn't really happen. I want that feeling again. I crave it almost more than I crave being skinny again. Almost. Even when I go back to read old blog posts, I can barely remember having written them. It's all so weird, yet liberating. It's like feeling like you were just floating along for five months.
Back to the present, I weighed my self again after that fainting spell and came up at 139.5 lbs. Not as good as I would like, but good enough.
~ Cleosparks
Thursday, 21 June 2012
138.5
I didn't fast on Tuesday... or yesterday, or today. I've been away for a bit, mainly because of finals, but I decided to do a quick post today because I didn't wanna leave the people hanging.
Let me start with Tuesday. I was going just fine, and it was smooth sailing through my first exam with not a single calorie. Then after the exam (on which I got an 89% with no studying (; ), A couple of friends dragged me off to McDonald's where I ate so much food. It was so gross that I feared weighing myself yesterday... so I didn't.
Yesterday was much like Tuesday except I ate even more food. It's actually disturbing to think about really. I was truly disgusted with myself and still am I guess. I just wish I could redo the last couple of days and fix things, but hey, it is what it is.
So, I weighed myself this morning and weighed in at 140 lbs! I know! Gross! But then I weighed myself again after taking off my sweater and sweatpants and weighed in at 138.5 lbs. Oh thank the gods. That could have been so bad, but it turned out, miracles were working their magic for me to have lost weight after a two day binge fest. So, after I got home from school, I ate some ice cream. That's it. Just some ice cream. No more than 400-500 calories just to be on the safe side. That compared to my 2000-3000 calories the last couple of days is splendid. I'm sure I'll weigh less tomorrow morning and I'm really excited to see how much I weigh. I will definitely meet my goal of 136 lbs by July 4th. I can. I hope.
Untill next time,
~ cleosparks
Let me start with Tuesday. I was going just fine, and it was smooth sailing through my first exam with not a single calorie. Then after the exam (on which I got an 89% with no studying (; ), A couple of friends dragged me off to McDonald's where I ate so much food. It was so gross that I feared weighing myself yesterday... so I didn't.
Yesterday was much like Tuesday except I ate even more food. It's actually disturbing to think about really. I was truly disgusted with myself and still am I guess. I just wish I could redo the last couple of days and fix things, but hey, it is what it is.
So, I weighed myself this morning and weighed in at 140 lbs! I know! Gross! But then I weighed myself again after taking off my sweater and sweatpants and weighed in at 138.5 lbs. Oh thank the gods. That could have been so bad, but it turned out, miracles were working their magic for me to have lost weight after a two day binge fest. So, after I got home from school, I ate some ice cream. That's it. Just some ice cream. No more than 400-500 calories just to be on the safe side. That compared to my 2000-3000 calories the last couple of days is splendid. I'm sure I'll weigh less tomorrow morning and I'm really excited to see how much I weigh. I will definitely meet my goal of 136 lbs by July 4th. I can. I hope.
Untill next time,
~ cleosparks
Monday, 18 June 2012
Dormant Weight
Yesterday, as we all know, was Father's Day :( ... Don't get me wrong, I love my dad, but on special occasions, people tend to want to go out and eat. I don't know why. It's stupid. We should spend time together sitting around and reminiscing, not stuffing our faces. But, I guess all of the human race has a fat man mentality. So, I found myself sitting in Montana's with my mom, dad, sister and brother, stuffing my face. I ate like a cow. Disgusting.
So, this morning, I weighed myself. I was disgusted by what I saw on the scale. A shocking 141 lbs. Ya, I know, it's gross. I hated myself all the way to school and back. When I got home about thirty minutes ago, I weighed myself again, hoping the outcome would be better because I had only a slice of pizza for lunch. I smiled at the scale, still too heavy, but better than a pound and a half of gained weight. 140 lbs. Feeling depressed about the extra half a pound I would now have to lose, I took a shower and then pee'd. In a flash of hope, I went back to weigh myself in shorts and a t-shirt, 139.5. Admittedly, it's not as low as I hoped it would be, but now I could confidently say that my weight remained the same as yesterday.
So, now I sit here eating my last meal (hopefully) of the day at 4:22 pm. Two slices of bread and some honey with a cup of hot tea. I used to hate tea before I realised it made me lose weight faster. There's tip number two: drink your tea.
Oh! I almost forgot! The nineteenth of the month is tomorrow! I'm going on a twenty-four hour faster starting at 12 am tomorrow. I'm so excited and I really believe I can do it.
Wish me luck and thanks for reading,
~ cleosparks
So, this morning, I weighed myself. I was disgusted by what I saw on the scale. A shocking 141 lbs. Ya, I know, it's gross. I hated myself all the way to school and back. When I got home about thirty minutes ago, I weighed myself again, hoping the outcome would be better because I had only a slice of pizza for lunch. I smiled at the scale, still too heavy, but better than a pound and a half of gained weight. 140 lbs. Feeling depressed about the extra half a pound I would now have to lose, I took a shower and then pee'd. In a flash of hope, I went back to weigh myself in shorts and a t-shirt, 139.5. Admittedly, it's not as low as I hoped it would be, but now I could confidently say that my weight remained the same as yesterday.
So, now I sit here eating my last meal (hopefully) of the day at 4:22 pm. Two slices of bread and some honey with a cup of hot tea. I used to hate tea before I realised it made me lose weight faster. There's tip number two: drink your tea.
Oh! I almost forgot! The nineteenth of the month is tomorrow! I'm going on a twenty-four hour faster starting at 12 am tomorrow. I'm so excited and I really believe I can do it.
Wish me luck and thanks for reading,
~ cleosparks
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