I'm sorry I keep not posting. I guess it's because I've been feeling less and less happy the healthier I get (as odd as that sounds) and I've been feeling sorry for myself among other things. I'm too scared to weigh myself as I'm sure I've gained weight since that stupid meal plan was started. Volleyball has got me eating more, but I know I can't blame volleyball for my excessive binging over the last seven days.
Wow it's been seven days. I wish... I don't know. I wish I didn't abandon this blog for a week just because I was pitying myself because, truth be told, I do better with losing weight and restricting when writing my blog as oppose to when I'm not. Have I mentioned I'm sorry?
I'm sorry if this post has been nothing but a jumble of incoherent thoughts. I'm sorry if all my other posts have been sad emo-esque depressing failures. I'm sorry if my posts haven't been up to par. I'm sorry if I haven't been very captivating lately... And most of all, I'm sorry for not having posted in so long. If it's worth anything, I haven't touched a computer since my last post, and not only have I not posted, but I haven't checked the blogs I follow either. I'm too sorry for myself, for any potential readers that I may have lost, for loyal readers that have silently been waiting, and I'm sorry... you know... for being sorry.
Okay, I'm done feeling sorry for myself. It's time for some major changes. I've been skipping breakfast everyday I spend at home (I never spend a weekend at home as I have volleyball tournaments every weekend) and instead been taking diet supplements. But because I'm an idiot, to make up for my awesome lack of breakfast, I decide it's okay to binge when I get home. (Once again... because I'm an idiot.)So enough with that. No more binging.
I'll post again tomorrow. I promise.
Wish me luck!
~ cleosparks
*internet hugs* I'm glad you're okay, or, you know, sort of okay. And it's okay to feel those things-- really-- and it's also okay to feel sad for yourself and to neglect your blog for a while. I mean, you do whatever you need! We will support you in whatever you need, be that time alone or self-pity or sudden drastic weight loss or the decision that Ana is not the right thing for you. Whatever it is... this is a community where you can be accepted. I do have to [selfishly] say that I am glad to hear from you, though. And for what it's worth, I haven't stepped on the scale in ages, either. I've been eating really well, though, so I'm hoping my weight will reflect that when I do work up the courage to weigh myself. You can get through this sucky time of binging and incoherent thoughts and sad feelings. You ARE okay as you are, wherever you are, whether or not you know it, and you WILL BE okay. Please let me know if there's anything you need.
ReplyDelete<3 Anna
No need to apologize.... we're just glad you're hanging in there :)
ReplyDelete<3
Stay strong and good luck with the diet changes... you've got this!