Today I ate a total of 1084 calories. Ya I know. Shitty day. That being said, I did lose two pounds since yesterday, so I did indulge a little bit. Bad mistake. I hope I don't weigh more tomorrow.
So, let me just get this out on display here. Judge me as you will... but my mom is my reverse-thinspo. Yes I know! I know! I'm a horrible person. But it's true. When I'm thinking of binging until I can't move... I just look at her and see her rolls and legs and suddenly the binge isn't so bad. Yup, right now you're thinking "God, this girl is horrible! I'm never looking at this blog again!" You know what? I don't blame you if you say that. I am a horrible person, but that isn't exactly new information. This is why I've been cursed with the inability to get out of the 130-135 lbs range. I swear, when I get in the 120s, I'm never looking back. Really I hate it. I've been in the 130s for so long, I don't remember what it's like anymore to be 126 lbs.
I've decided to try and reach my second goal weight of under 130 lbs by March seventh. I chose March seventh because my grade is starting swimming unit on that day and I don't want to look as fat as I look right now.
I've got six days. This. Will. Happen.
I'm going to look up more tips and tricks and hopefully collaborate some ideas on how to loose more weight. When I get disciplined enough, I'm going to start the ABC diet. I'm really excited about that. But first I need to learn some more restraint.
As far as life is going right now, I'm becoming more and more crappy and bitchy towards my friends and I feel like I'm oh so slowly pushing them away. I'm also getting to be more careless about things and I'm beginning to not give a shit about things I usually care about.
Plus I'm tired as hell all the time.
Correction: I'm tired as hell on good days when I've been doing some heavy restriction. Hopefully I'll be tired more.
Oh, and here is the best tip I have come across so far. WATER. These websites aren't kidding when they say water helps. I'm telling you it does. I think the fact that I drank two tall glasses of water before bed greatly helped in the amount of weight I had lost over night. I myself will make it a goal of mine to drink two glasses of water in the morning (after I weigh myself) and two glasses of water before bed.
Wish me luck!
xoxox
~ cleosparks
Two pounds in two days? Major congrats! Wow, I wish I could do that. Also, I can't believe your school has a swimming unit. Are you in the US? I would absolutely hate that, lol. Anyway, keep up the good work! (And you're NOT a bad person! Really, just from reading your blog I can tell, promise.)
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