More Counting

 So, I didn't have that much to write yesterday. I still weighed 134 lbs and I ate the amount of calories I needed to maintain weight (1700) because I'm a total idiot. You would think I would gain weight after eating so much, but this food actually broke my mini two day plateau of 134 lbs. I'm now 133.5 lbs. Dropping weight once again.
 So counting calories is now a habit for me, and today I counted once again.


 A bag of ruffles cheddar and cream cheese baked chips 120 calories
 One talking rain 0 calories
 One Hotrod meat snak 50 calories
 Two slices of bread (w/ jam) 195 calories
 Half a cucumber 23 calories
 Ginger tea (w/ milk) 205 calories
 Two Fruit snack... things 350
 Total: 943 calories


 Up until yesterday, I always ate M&M cookies for lunch at school. They have 250 calories. Then, today I decided that was just too many calories for one sitting. Instead of the M&Ms, I got a bag of chips. Bam! Calorie replacements. Geez I also need to cut out one of the fruit snack things and I'll be good!
 So this was a short post. Longer one tomorrow I promise!
xoxox
~ cleosparks

Counting Calories

 I weighed myself this morning. I weighed 134 lbs. I then went into a sort of depression. Fuck I didn't think I would gain so much. I love how I'm slowly starting to hate myself as I get further into this state of mind. Seriously.
Anywho... to make up for yesterday's... um miserable failure, I counted calories for the first time in a very VERY long time. Here are my results:
 M&M bite size cookies 250
Talking Rain Ice (my favourite beverage) 0
Instant noodles 380
One hotdog without the bread 90
One slice of bread with a tablespoon of jam 110
 Total: 830 calories
 Not bad for someone with as little self control as I have. Well anyways, I'm going to go on the treadmill now as I don't have practice today!
xoxox
~ cleosparks

I'm So... Fat.

So, I'm using my mobile app right now and I can't update the about me, but ya I weighed myself this morning. 130.5 lbs.
I would usually be jumping for joy at being so close to a goal weight, but I have a very strong feeling I'll have gained weight tomorrow morning rather than lost it.
So... I ate today. A. Lot. I had a waffle with three strips of bacon and a bit of maple syrup this morning for breakfast. That's really good for that kind of food. Usually when I'm presented with bacon and waffles/eggs, I binge... instantly. But today I controlled myself. Well, at first I did. I went on to have FOUR PB and and J sandwiches... that's right FOUR. After that I had some calorie laden soup. Yay. And after practice just I had two little fruit packet things... 175 calories each. Then I had two more strips of bacon and a shitload of sweet potato fries. I feel like dieing right now. Tomorrow morning when the scale confirms how much of a failure I really am... I probably will go into a form of depression. I might go throw up now if I have the balls for it. Goodbye.
~ cleosparks

My Happy Family

Dad:
My dad is the chill one in the family. He doesn't get mad very often, but when he does, you'd better watch out. I would guess his BMI is anywhere from 22 to 25. He's nice and healthy and he exercises every other day. A great dad as far as dads go and he's my favourite parent.
Mom:
Mom's always stressed out for some reason or another. My family just moved across the country in September for my dad's job, and because of the move, my mom is currently unemployed. You would think someone who has really no responsibilities would be really calm all day, but it's the exact opposite with my mom. It's almost like she LOOKS for something to be stressed out about. Quite obviously I don't like my mother AT ALL and I avoid her as much as I can. I can't guess at a BMI that's as high as hers probably is, but she's like 5'4" and around 210 lbs. She doesn't exercise and she's unsuccessfully trying to lose weight.
Sister:
Let's call her Ivy from now on as all names in this blog will be changed for the safety of the poor suckers I write about ;). So, Ivy, my older sister, is really annoying. She likes to act as if my brother and I are 3 years old. What's worse is the fact that she thinks she is the equal to my parents. She thinks she can tell my brother and I what we can and can't do and when we can and can't do it. I hate her more than I hate my mom... and I hate my mom a lot. She is about 5'7" or 5'8" and around 275 lbs. She is OBESE with a capital FAT. She's on the Jenny Craig diet and when she started she was 300+ lbs. So yes she has improved. She exercises regularly, but not very much.
Brother:
We'll call him Eddy. Eddy is my favourite sibling and he's also a role model to me in a way. He's about 180 lbs. Before you gasp, that's 180 lbs of pure muscle. He's 6'1" and he has a six pack. He works hard for what he wants. He plays basketball competitively as I play volleyball competitively and he works out everyday for hours. He is in the best physical shape he could possibly be in.
Me:
Cleosparks. Well, obviously my name isn't really Cleosparks, but just as I'm not sharing the names of the people I write about, I'm not sharing mine. Not at least until I'm ready. You know exactly what I weigh through the About Me, and as for my personality... well you'll be the judge of that.
Well that's all my family when you don't count my cat, Cleo. As for her, she's a real cutie with lots of sass. She's 4 years old and counting.
As for the weigh-in and what not, I'll be doing that in a later post.
Thanks for reading as always
xoxox
~ cleosparks

Sleepover

 Well, hello again. Sorry for the whole "didn't post yesterday" thing, but I was quite busy. Really, I'm sorry! But I'm going to fill you in on what you missed and what I plan on doing today.
 So, let's start with yesterday morning. I weighed myself and I lost 1.5 lbs! Yes! I got down to 132.5 lbs. But, the thing is, I went to my volleyball team's team sleepover thing last night/this morning, and sleepovers usually translate to a lot of food. Luckily enough, I did not binge, but I did eat more than I would like to admit. Jeez, that was a mistake! I'm very scared to weigh myself this afternoon since I've already eaten, so I'm skipping weighing today. I'm just to scared for this... I don't know how I'll deal with it if I gained too much weight and ended up back over my first goal weight!
 On another note, I'm going to hit the treadmill tonight for 35 minutes since I don't have practise today and I vowed to do that whenever I didn't have practise! I will stick with my vow! I promise!
 Also, I'll try not to eat again today until around 4:30ish and then I will stick to my one fruit rule after my workout. I can still save my weight! Wish me luck!
xoxox
~ cleosparks

P.S. I got my first comment ever! It was from kindofana! Check her out! Thanks so much kindofana!

So... Goal Weight One Reached!

So, this post is a bit more informative. I've finally put my stats up in the about me section! So, this is less "hey guys I'm too lazy to post legible material" and more "hey guys this is my plan and this is what I've done so far."
So. I suck at exercise. I can't do it. I hate it. But yesterday and the day before I spent 30 minutes on the treadmill and somehow lost a pound (which lead to reaching my first goal weight), and today I had volleyball practice which lasted 2 hours as usual. Usually before I would eat as much as I could after a practice, but today with my refreshed pro-ana mind set, I only grabbed a banana and that was it! I'm going to bed hungry which is always good.
I'm going to follow a new excercise regimen. This week I spend 35 minutes on the treadmill everyday I don't have practice on. I am limited to eating one fruit after every one of these sessions including volleyball practices (3 sometimes 4 days a week). Next will be the same except my treadmill sessions will be lengthened to 45 minutes. The week after 55. Then 65 and so on.
Along with this I will also try to eat as little as possible throughout the day and I must try my best to go to bed hungry. I should not under any circumstances go to bed feeling full.
WISH ME LUCK!
xoxox
~ cleosparks

Geez I've Been Super Busy...

Thus, I have been unable to put up stats or really publish any new material. So here are my basic stats:
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 135 lbs
HW: 140 lbs
LW: 126 lbs
BMI: 21.8
GW1: under 135 lbs []
GW2: under 130 lbs []
GW3: under 126 lbs []
GW4: under 120 lbs []
GW5: under 118 lbs []
GW6: under 114 lbs []
UGW: happiness
So I hope you've learned even a little bit about me through the stats up there, and just wanted to let you know that I will start posting regularly and with actual content quite soon :)
Stay tuned!
xoxox
~ cleosparks
P.S. I will move those stats to the about me soon when I'm not feeling so lazy ;P

A New Beginning Calls For a New Blog

 So, I am definitely not newly pro-ana. I've been pro-ana since summer 2011. So I can say I've been pro-ana for roughly half a year. Over this seven-ish months time frame, I have lost ambition several times. So, I lose weight, then I gain it all back. It really is disgusting, all this fat rolling around on my tummy and legs. :(
 That being said, I just recently (last night actually) re-found ana. I just decided that I would find her again and there she was.
 So, now, with the help of this blog I'm just now starting, I hope to reach all my goals quite soon. :D
 Stats will be posted later today!

xoxox
~ cleosparks